- Young Billy Prescott, who just entered Our Savior of Perpetual Hope Middle School. Billy has been voted class Valedictorian of the Class of 2015. The award was given based on Billy's commitment to ace all of his classes for the next 6 years. For the Record - to date, Billy has never aced a single class - no matter - he intends to from now on.
- Swana Williams, Freshman at the New York Film School. Swana has been awarded an Oscar for the stunning movie which she intents to Produce and Direct after she graduates from film school. It was stated that her intention to BOTH Produce AND Direct the yet to be written film was what clinched the Oscar.
- Emily Yankovich, aspiring blogger. Emily was given the coveted Pulitzer price for the hard hitting expose she hopes to write on her blog uncovering massive corruption. She is not sure WHERE the corruption will be, but she sure as hell intends to find out. The committee said the fact that she has yet to actually start her blog was not a barrier to her winning. In fact, they said it clinched the prize for her. They wanted to do all they could to encourage to actually write the damned thing.
On a personal note, I am lobbying the Ohio Lottery Commission to issue me the One Million Dollar winning check for the winning lottery ticket that I intend to buy next near.
Sound silly? It is only silly because you are not Barack Hussein Obama...mmm mmm mmm.
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