Rules for Republicans

A bump to Scott over at Conservatism Today for posting a link to this. It came originally from IMAO. Let me summarize:
It seems The Messiah is drafting 'Rules for Republicans' to use if they want to get along with him. (I wonder how closely he will actually pattern it after 'Rules for Radicals' by his mentor, Bill 'I bombed the Pentagon' Ayers?). Anyway, the rules follow:

• Don’t bother reading the details of the stimulus bill; it’s boring.
  
• Stop sneaking up behind me and flicking my ears.
  
• In bills about the war, stop replacing the word “terrorist” with “Obama’s close personal friends.”
  
• Don’t get all hung up on this “capitalism” thing.
  
• Stop confusing my name with Osama. We’re very different. He has a beard and I don’t.
  
• Stop worrying about whether my cabinet is a bunch of law breakers; their job is to make laws, not follow them.
  
• Stop warning the American public about my secret police; then they won’t be secret anymore.
  
• Stop bringing up my wife’s odd, mannish features.
  
• Don’t tell me what’s happened on Lost; it’s on the Tivo and I haven’t had a chance to watch it yet.
  
• Stop saying, “Give me freedom or give me death.” Neither of those are on the table right now.