You have got to be kidding me! Thus far - a total of 150 people have gotten sick NATIONWIDE. Think about that - One Hundred Fifty out of 300,000,000+ folks in the US. And for this we pull tomatoes from all food service outlets? My daughter, in her own special way, noted '150 people sick! Let me know when 10,00o people have DIED - then I will take notice.
Banning actual tomatoes is bad enough - but I can live without tomatoes. The real outrage is that people are also refusing to serve Salsa. OMG (for those older than 19 - OMG is texting shorthand - it is roughly translating - You have go to be F-ing kidding me!) This salsa ban has serious personal consequences for me. Not that I care about salsa itself - but what the hell will I eat while swilling my Corona while I am cleaning my guns? This leads me to the true horror story - what if they banned LIMES? I doubt I could find the strength to go on living. But I digress.
Let's explore the REAL reason for this tomatoe ban (you say tomato, I say Lycopersicon Esculentum). Now, the naive among you (you know who you are -- you voted for Al Gore) you might believe it is a concern for public health? Hah! The real reason is more nefarious. It is LAWYERS. Restaurant owners are scared to death about getting sued because some poor schmuck gets the runs after consuming some tomato based product.
I think we should have a big strategy session for 100s of trial lawyers so they can figure out the best way to sue everyone. I submit the following suggestion for a menu:
Drinks - Bloody Marys made with freshly squeezed tomato juice.
Appetizer - Freshly made corn chips with fresh salsa
Soup - Tomato Leak soup
Salad - Tomato and Mozzerlla salad
Main Course - Fresh Tomatoes stuffed with chicken salad. (As an added bonus, the tomatoes should be cut on an unwashed cutting board - 2 hours after the fresh chicken was processed.)Dessert - Sweet baked tomato (a sample recipe can be found at http://www.recipezaar.com/123015 )
We have gotten soft and weak in this country.... 'OOO mummy I touched the bathroom doorknob' --'oh dear sweety - use this hand sanitizer which mummy always keep in her purse. Thus assuring you won't have a functioning immune system when you get as old as mummy' . (With credit to George Carlin).
America - Harden the F up. (with credit to Ronnie Johns as Chopper Reid)
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1 comment:
Tomatoes are a fruit, you know.
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